Friday, September 9, 2011

English As She Is Spoke, by Addie

A long time ago, I read about a book titled "English As She Is Spoke" According to Wikipedia, it "was intended as a Portuguese-English conversational guide or phrase book, but is regarded as a classic source of unintentional humour, as the given English translations are generally completely incoherent." I have thought of this book often since I have been a mother. Sometimes I'm not sure English is my children's first language. However, while Chloe and Maggie have thus far been content to adapt pronunciations to suit their own needs, Addie prefers to completely create new words out of the ether. Sometimes I can figure out a definition, but not always. Here are a few of my favorites:
  • Toring. This refers to being moved back and forth, like on a sharp turn in the car. "Mom! Stop toring me!"
  • Crinky. I think this means dirty and uncomfortable. "Mom, my bum is crinky." (We're working on wiping better.)
  • Blurking. As in, "Mom! Maggie's blurking at me!" I'm not sure what this means exactly, but it's obviously worthy of a tattle.
  • Also in common usage for a while were Smaking (with a long "a"), Crunking, Blurping and Porping. No clue what they mean, but if someone did them to Addie, I heard about it.
Lately, Addie has moved on to longer words. At least four syllables. These words typically only get used once or twice, but hey, if you need the right word for a certain situation, you need the right word. They include such winners as Expitating, Conferating, and Flusterated. Flusterated actually makes perfect sense to me.

Wow, what a . . . smile? The dead tooth in the front really makes it pop. Oh, Addie girl, you do make me laugh. And shake my head. As Addie once said to Maggie, "You get what you get and you don't get upset. And many moooorrreee!!"

I'll let her dance you out.

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