Monday, January 19, 2009

How to eat like Addie

Addie is currently at least a 2 bath a day kid. She is uncannily able to make the smallest, neatest snack into a giant mess. Case in point, after her nap yesterday, while I was still waking up from mine (What, I'm pregnant. It's hard for me.), I gave her a string cheese. I got up later to find chewed up bits of cheese stuck all over my clothes, and mashed into the couch. Hours later, I found more cheese on my body. Delightful.
On our Christmas trip to Utah, I foolishly gave her an Oreo. In the split second it took me to realize what a stupid thing I'd done, she had completely dissolved the whole thing in her mouth. I turned around backward in my seat to try to clean up the mess to find not only was there black goo dripping from her mouth, but both of her hands and one of her feet were also covered in it. As soon as I would get one surface clean, while dodging the 2 or 3 other waving weapons, she would redirty it. I nearly had Bracken pull over to help me because it seemed like an almost impossible task to get one mouth, 2 hands and a foot clean in a moving car all by myself. And there was definitely no way to get a picture, memorable as it would have been.
But here is some documentation of some recent meals.
How To Eat Soup
First, insist on doing it all by yourself. You must hold the spoon, and the bowl, and refuse any help from a parent. Then, after your dad drains all the liquid off the soup, attempt to drink anything that remains.
Next, dump what's left in the bowl all over your tray and down your front.

Finally, put the bowl on your head like a hat, find something else on your tray to eat, and refuse to touch the remains of your soup. After all, it's been on your head and your clothes--gross.

What To Do With Ketchup

When your mom gives you a plate with dinosaur chicken nuggets, carrots and ketchup on it, immediately dip the carrots into the ketchup and lick it off. If you have french fries, dip one in, lick it off and repeat with the same fry until you have a soggy nasty mess. Then drop it over the side. Next eat the chicken nuggets, throw the carrots, and lick all remaining ketchup off the plate. Then stash your plate inside your seat so your tray looks suspiciously clean. Give your parents this look.
If they still look at you like you're trouble, try this look.

Apply more ketchup from your stashed plate and try this look. Attempt to hide your wet sleeves which are wet because right before your mom put you in your high chair, you grabbed an orange out of the bowl on the table, ate right through the peel, then smashed what remained all over the table and rubbed it in.
And when all else fails, try this grin. Works every time.

Chloe, who was eating neatly, didn't want to be left out. After all, she may be a neat eater now, who uses utensils for more than just gesturing with, but one of my favorite pictures of her as a baby was an eating picture. She had been working on a teething biscuit, got bored, rubbed it through her hair and then stuck it to the top of her head. And left it there while she ate a pear. I just have to have faith that all of Addie's mess is part of her learning, and when she's Chloe's age, she too will get up from the table and clean her hands and face without being asked. But we've got a long road ahead.


Sandy said...

Hilarious pictures of Addie -love it! I haven't had the squished/smeared/sticky food stage at my house for a couple years now (now they just wipe their dirty hands on the chair slipcovers) - but I'll be right there with you again in a few months, I'm sure!

I've often wondered if that hand-held water sprayer thing on kitchen sinks is actually to de-gunk small children at mealtime:)

The Bunker Family said...

Where's the bib? We all wear bibs...especially Chris!