Dear Bathroom Scale,
How could I have gained 5 pounds overnight?
I was pretty good yesterday. I stayed within my Weight Watchers point allotment.
I just really needed something soft and comforting to help me recover from the pain and expense of a brand new crown (not on my head, in my mouth). I had no idea that delicious strawberry shake would cost me 18 (18!) points. But after that I tried really hard to be good. Even though I poured White Cheddar Popcorn Seasoning directly on my tongue while watching TV just to get the taste of cheese. It was only 2 calories per 1/4 teaspoon.
Mr. Scale, if you can't come up with a better number, you're going to have to go.
Fine, I'll scoot you to the left a little and see if that changes things. How 'bout to the right? What if I pick you up and then put you back down again and see if things are different? How about I weigh myself 4 different times? I promise I'll count the second lowest number you give me, just to be fair.
There we go! I knew I didn't gain overnight. Oh look, I lost a couple ounces. If I lean back.
Thank you for your cooperation,