Friday, September 25, 2009

Come on!

Dear Bathroom Scale,

You lie.

How could I have gained 5 pounds overnight?

I was pretty good yesterday. I stayed within my Weight Watchers point allotment.

Mostly.

I just really needed something soft and comforting to help me recover from the pain and expense of a brand new crown (not on my head, in my mouth). I had no idea that delicious strawberry shake would cost me 18 (18!) points. But after that I tried really hard to be good. Even though I poured White Cheddar Popcorn Seasoning directly on my tongue while watching TV just to get the taste of cheese. It was only 2 calories per 1/4 teaspoon.

Mr. Scale, if you can't come up with a better number, you're going to have to go.

Fine, I'll scoot you to the left a little and see if that changes things. How 'bout to the right? What if I pick you up and then put you back down again and see if things are different? How about I weigh myself 4 different times? I promise I'll count the second lowest number you give me, just to be fair.

Come on!

There we go! I knew I didn't gain overnight. Oh look, I lost a couple ounces. If I lean back.

Thank you for your cooperation,

Ruth

6 comments:

Birdnest said...

HAHAHA Ruth....I know exactly how you feel and those scales truly have a mind of their own, don't they! I enjoy your posts. We will be seeing Keralyn next week in Idaho:)

kimberly said...

I. Love. You.

Trent and Amber said...

Cracks me up, we have so all been there. I hope you're weighing yourself naked though, it always turns out better that way. I refuse to weight myself with clothes on or anytime after eating breakfast. :)

Sandy said...

Blame it on the fact that you're milking...maybe you just produced some whole milk in the night and it weighs a little more??!

Missy said...

Lol! I do hate scales. I do. Every last one of them lies to me so I try lying to them... doesn't really work that way. (btw - my word verification is "blutter")

Biligualist-in-Training said...

Ruth, this is one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

I miss you! Definitely need to make time for a visit.