Thursday, June 2, 2011

A few things on my mind today II

For those who are interested, it's been a long time since I've shared a "few" things. The first time was here. I'm pretty sure there's less of a theme to this list. But after all, I'm pregnant.

  • The girls are currently playing some sort of prison game. I'm sure there will be a riot soon, but for now, all is quiet. I would like to join them. I would be the model prisoner. They could lock me in my room all day and I wouldn't make a peep. I'd even give myself a homemade tattoo. To the outside world, it might just look like stretch marks, but I'd know it signaled my membership in a pretty hardcore gang. Plus, I already go the bathroom prison style.
  • I'm thinking hard about packing my clothes today. On the surface, this seems like a pretty easy job, but there are categories of clothing that need sorting. So far I've come up with Small Maternity, Large Maternity, and I Really Don't Care Anymore Maternity. Though, I did catch a glance of some overalls on a cute girl on 90210 the other day (the new 90210, not the old one), and thought, "Shoot, now wearing my overalls everyday come September is going to look like I'm still trying." After the maternity clothes comes Large Nursing, Smaller Nursing, Attempting To Do Weight Watchers, and Will Number 4 Wreck Me So Badly That I Will Never Be Able To Fit Into These Clothes Again and Should I Just Give Them Away Now?
  • I sat in the bathroom, contemplating packing while picking my toes and my thoughts wandered to the Pioneer Woman, who also waxes contemplative while picking her toes. I realized the train of logic must go as follows. Pioneer Woman picks her toes. Pioneer Woman used to be a ballerina. I pick my toes, ergo, I am graceful. It makes perfect sense.
  • I had a big achievement in the bathroom the other day, and no, it has nothing to do with with my Hoarders problem. Lately, the shower has had a hoarding problem, and despite my best attempts to get it to drain and large quantities of hair removal, nothing has worked. Saturday I busted out the adhesive floral clay. 1 ball of it on the end of a hanger grabbed the shampoo lid Maggie had dropped down the drain. 2 balls on the ends of a pair of tongs secured the toothbrush. So now I have fixed a washing machine with floral wire, and plumbing problems with floral clay. Ladies, forget becoming photographers on the side--become a part time florist.
  • I discovered the origin of the giant pile of dry baby wipes that keeps mysteriously appearing behind the trunk in the living room. I entered the room the other day to finding Addie cleaning her hands with a wipe. I then asked her to help me with something and she said, "Just a minute, Mom. Let me throw this away." And then she tossed it in the corner. I love when my children have been doing something the wrong way for so long that they will now blatantly do it in front of me.
  • Here's another logic problem for you. If the maternal grandmother of your baby is the second of four sisters, and the paternal grandmother of your baby is the third of four sisters, how high is the probability that your fourth baby will be a girl? Or we can approach the problem from a different direction. If your husband is known for being incredibly consistent, a man of deliberateness and routine, was there any chance that after he produced one gorgeous little girl, he would try anything else?
  • Do you know what's worse than trying to scrub dried shredded wheat cereal sludge off the inside of your sink after a helpful child has dumped her bowl all over the sink? Discovering that the child didn't make it to the sink and not only didn't eat any of the second bowl of cereal she requested, but managed to spill it all over the floor, the cupboards and the trash can on her way to the sink. And then you left the house without seeing the mess and returned 2 hours later to find it had permanently adhered itself to those surfaces. At least it wasn't this again.