The skinny on Millionaire

Well, the skinny on Millionaire won't be me. Oh, I'll be on Millionaire all right, but I'm a bit frustrated with my prospective appearance. A couple weeks ago, right before I got the call scheduling my appearance on the show, I decided to finally commit and join Weight Watchers. I've been struggling with losing weight, and despite my best efforts to diet alone, I had actually gained a bit. So I began the plan, was really good about sticking to my points, and lost 2 pounds the first week. Hooray! And then I started to bloat. I thought, oh, it's just that time of month, the water will come right off as soon as my period starts. But it didn't.

And then I noticed my ankles looked like they were swelling. Which is kind of hard to tell on me since I have large legs. Usually, though, I do have ankle bones and I realized I couldn't see them. Or the bones in my feet. Or any indentations around my knees. Suddenly I put two and two together and realized that though the pain in my legs I mentioned a couple weeks ago had improved when I started taking iron, it hadn't completely gone away. No, it had moved down to my knees, making it almost impossible for me to squat or kneel, and unable to get up without using my arms. And then it had migrated down to my feet, causing them to ache and swell so much I can hardly put shoes on. And walking is not pleasant either. When I weighed in for my second week, even though I had stuck to my points strictly and exercised a lot, I had gained 3 1/2 pounds. I'm pretty sure it's all water.

I went into the doctor at this point cause I was a little freaked out. They did some bloodwork and it turns out the iron I took before wasn't enough. I am now really anemic, and hopefully increasing my iron more and adding vitamin C will help. I also picked up some water pills to try to stop feeling so sloshy.

I just can't get over the irony of the situation. I spend most of my time covered in dirt and food and snot and whatever combination of kid slime I've acquired in the average day. I often don't put on makeup and just slap a hat over my hair and call it good for the day, and it's fine with me. Vanity just doesn't register most days, and that's quite all right. But the one time I really want to look good, when I've been making the best effort I can remember to lose weight and take good care of myself, it all implodes. I realize that it all falls under pride, and the Lord wants us to be humble, but am I really asking that much right now? I just want to look good the one time I appear on national television.

It's not the first time the Lord has chosen to kill my vanity at a most inopportune time. When I was 16, my family moved to Utah. My entire life I had worn glasses, and been teased about them every time we moved, every new school I started. I was really unhappy about moving to Utah, but the one bright spot was that for the first time, I would be wearing contacts when I started school and wouldn't be stuck the the glasses label. The first day of school I was getting ready, and as I went to take my hard contact lenses out of the case, one snapped right in half. I was horrified. All I'd wanted was to start off the new school year looking nice, and there I was, stuck with glasses again. At this point, I would be totally cool with wearing glasses on TV, if only I didn't look like a beached whale.

Hopefully if I have to look bad, I'll get to win big. So here's the scoop on the Millionaire thing. I got a call inviting me to come be on the show on September 16! The date was a little awkward for us--we've got something big going on on the 20th, but it was kind of a now or never situation, so I went for it.

It's been crazy ever since trying to figure out lifelines and travel and trying to study all the random trivia in the world. I'll be heading out to New York on the 15th with both of my sisters! I'm so excited to be able to go with them. I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them, so just vacationing with them will be a thrill. I've also never been to New York, so that is super exciting. We won't be spending very long there, but I think we'll still be able to do a lot. I'll give you some of the details about the show after the taping, but I won't be able to disclose a lot until after it airs in November. I'll keep you posted about the air date. I'm super nervous. Suddenly I feel like I don't know anything, and when I play along with the show, I don't do nearly as well as I'd like to. I'm trying to have faith, though, that there's a good Mormon gameshow vibe in the air since there's finally a million dollar winner on Deal or No Deal, and she's LDS. Wish me luck!